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Grapevine : August 2010
there is one I will always remember. I was at work on a Saturday when I got the call that she had been involved in a car accident and I needed to get to the trauma center as quickly as I could. My wife was just getting there as I arrived. We were told that the ac- cident had happened late the night before and that my daughter was not waking up. Her head had struck a telephone pole; she had shattered her orbital bones and her face was swollen and cut all over. We were scared beyond words and weren't prepared to handle any of this. When we went back to the waiting room to let the doctors work on her, we couldn't believe what was waiting for us. When my wife got the call, she had made two phone calls. One was to my office, and the other to a friend because she didn't think she could drive herself to the hospital. In the waiting room were about 30 of our friends and family, ready to support us through this in any way they could. Two phone calls. Not a guy who was prone to tears at the time, I fell into their arms and let the tears come. I have never been more amazed at the power of the group than I was that morning. It also reminded me of the countless emergencies when my parents had to come see their son. Our daughter healed in time, but her drinking continued to escalate. It was obvious to everyone that her drinking was out of control, but the last thing she wanted to do was go to AA. It broke my heart to know that the answer was so close to her. I talked with my dad often about how much pain I must have put him through with my drinking. It seemed karma was working overtime in my life. We surrendered to the fact that we might have to watch her die. At a July 4th picnic we got a call from her, asking for help. She came kicking and screaming into AA. It was so familiar to me that I couldn't breathe. I'd gotten sober by the skin of my teeth, and I had wanted it to be easier for my daughter. Again this brought me closer to my dad. All he told me was that I had to trust that AA and God could handle her. Eventually, she asked one of our best friends to be her sponsor and started to work the Steps into her life. When she sits on our couch now it is to laugh. She has friends who are sober and she doesn't want to drink anymore. She still doesn't want to have to belong to AA, but recognizes the need for it. Recently she gave birth to our first grandchild. We could not be happier. This may be the first child born on either side of our family to sober parents. Our hope is that the legacy of alcoholism will stop here. When I speak at meetings I usu- ally wind it up by giving the legacy of sobriety that is my family. My fa- ther came to AA 31 years ago, heard 20 August 2010