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Grapevine : August 2010
NEWCOMERS I'm learning when to shut up, to stop trying to run the show and to accept each day as God's will. This makes life a whole lot eas- ier. By keeping an open mind to the fact that I am an alcoholic and that I can't control people or situations around me, I'm slowly learning to go with the flow. I am very grateful to AA for the world of wisdom be- ing passed on. There is comfort in the knowledge that I'm not alone in this fight. Life is again worth living. I can laugh again and I don't have tobedrunktodoit.Iamnolonger running away from my problems but instead facing them head on, with a new strength and courage. I can't wait to be able to in- spire another newcomer someday to open her heart and mind to this new peace I have found. There is hope and I got that at these tables. You also need openness to find your Higher Power. In the first few weeks, I found that power in my fellow alcoholics who shared their experiences with me and made me feel welcome. It was overwhelming at first, but much better than the isolation I felt when sinking into a bottle for relief from self-hatred or whatever my problem was that day. I never really needed an excuse to drink. It's not even like it made me feel good. Toward the end, all I felt was numb and dead inside. Then I started to pray---not those phony, self-indulgent ones, either, like, God, just get me out of this and I'll never drink again (as I'm throwing up). Those days of hugging the toilet are over. Now I wake up, get on my knees and truly thank God for another day sober. Then I ask for guidance in the hours to come. It isn't always easy, but the problems I approach don't send me running to the liquor store anymore. So I'm going to keep on coming back with my ears ready PHOTO BY CHRISTOPHER S. Grapevine 49