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Grapevine : January 2011
in my home group that I was feeling restless and dis- contented without a reason I could put my finger on. During the meeting, I came to the conclusion that even though I was trudging the road, I must be in self-will, which, according to the Big Book, will always put me in collision with something or someone, even myself. AsIsatdownatthe kitchen table with my first cup of coffee, Tripod crept over the tabletop from the windowsill and stretched out in front of me. As she reached out her paw toward me, in what I assumed was an effort to entice me to pet her, I noticed my resistance growing. I was feeling close to empty and was in no mood to give affection. But as her little paw gently tugged my hand toward her a thought like a tiny wildflower be- gan to bloom in my heart. What if she doesn't want anything from you but is trying to give you something instead? What if God is using this little cat to bring you a little comfort and love? Isn't it possible that giving and receiving might often be inter- changeable and decipherable only by our perceptions and attitudes? What if all that is necessary for me to move toward feeling a little better today is a shift in my perceptions? Could I conceive of a world that is a little less demanding and a little kinder, if I could understand that my Divine Creator is always sending love to me in many varied forms and opportunities---which my perception distorts into demands on my time and resources? What I needed was a little energy flow re-orientation. This orientation toward the ex- change of love through give and take is something I've struggled with my entire life and recently, I'd been feel- ing tired and empty, without much reserves left to give. Today, I am more inclined to be- lieve God has always been filling my life with opportunities to love and be loved, but through my warped alcoholic perceptions I'd been seeing life's daily situations and challenges not as an opportunity to give and re- ceive, but as a demand on my dwin- dling inner resources. Of course, I'm only limited when I am not tapped into the divine source but instead running on my meager source of self-propulsion. So today I asked God to remove from me my limit- ing and warped perceptions of love, so that I may experience the love of God, as I understand God, as an un- ceasing and eternal source. This is what a little cat, a cup of coffee, the Fellowship and, foremost, my God awakened me to this morning. S.K. Alma, Ark. PHOTO BY MIKE D. Grapevine 57