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Grapevine : February 2011
bers and emails, and we have spoken on the phone, sent text messages and emailed. Now to sum up my adventure: AA works. I didn't pick up. My insur- ance was, I think, the plane out of there. I still suffer with every ism of my disease. Meeting Kiddo awakened me to the possibility that I could love and be loved. Then I saw the dan- ger I was willing to put myself in by longing to be with someone. I have seen firsthand the pow- erlessness over active addiction. Al- though I longed to give what I had to Kiddo, at the end of the day I could only show him by example and pray for his recovery. I don't know if I will see Kiddo again: I don't know if I will ever re- turn to Mexico. But God showed me valuable lessons there and I hope I don't forget them. Alan L. Stourbridge, West Midlands, England Ireally thought I was unique and di erent when I came into AA. I was just about tocomeoutasa gay man when I got sober in 1982. Getting sober was the easy part of being a recovering alcoholic in the AA program. I was very conflicted and had one hell of a time integrating my sexuality and my spiritual beliefs, to the point of feeling torn apart. I was riddled with fear and insecurity. I drank so I didn't have to feel pain and loneliness all the time. Drink- ing was my way of escaping from the reality of my life. Being a gay man in AA has been a blessing in disguise for me. I've learned to love other people unconditionally, and I've come to a level of love and acceptance of myself that would not have been possible had I not found the program. I've gotten over my terminal unique- ness. Whatever your sexual orien- tation, recovery is still recovery. I've become a whole, integrated, healthy person thanks to AA. A er 28 years in recov- ery, I'm finding out that it still takes what it takes to maintain a happy, sober life. I still go to any lengths to help myself and others who reach out. I've come to believe in a power greater than myself. God is doing for me what I could not do for myself. David H. Missoula, Mont. I was very conflicted and had one hell of a time integrating my sexuality and my spiritual beliefs. BECOMING WHOLE 24 February 2011