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Grapevine : February 2011
Grapevine 33 As time passed, like Bill, I suddenly recog- nized the elements that had come together that day: I needed help, I asked for help and help was made available. e fact that I was less than "respectful" obviously wasn't an obstacle. is suggested to me that a Higher Power might be able to see past my crankiness and my sometimes poor attitude. Some folks who have heard this story have tried to convince me that it was a factory worker, not God, who put those wheels on the TV. is only suggested to me that my Higher Power might be fashioning solutions to my problems years before I even know they exist, by working through people I might never know. Suddenly I had the elements of a faith that I could build upon: a God of my understand- ing who is una ected by my moods, who already knows my needs, and who responds to my needs the moment I am desperate enough to ask. Many aspects of my spiritual life have changed over the years, but these conceptions are still firmly in place as I trudge this road with all of you. Jim M. Oceanside, N.Y. wasn't for me. ese visits le me more bemused. "Find a power greater than you," I kept getting told by AA members. But where do I find it?HowdoIfindit? What the heck is a power greater than me? I was too em- barrassed to ask, because I didn't want to appear stupid. I prayed to whatever I had called out previously to for help. I asked that I be shown a power greater than myself. Days, weeks, months later---I can- not remember---I went into a botani- cal garden and in my favourite spot by a lake, I lay down under the ginkgo tree. I watched the so white clouds high up above me as they moved past the full-leafed branches of the tree. A thought came: Gosh, I couldn't stand alive against the seasons the way this tree does. Immediately, it occurred to me that here was a power greater than me. I laughed at this realization---I was happy! I now understood. It didn't occur to me at that moment that my prayer had been answered. I know it to be so today. For many years in Alcoholics Anony- mous I would not share that initially any ginkgo tree was my Higher Power, for fear of being ridiculed or judged. I share it today as a part of my spiritual journey, because, as it says in the Big Book: "Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another's conception of God." Jennifer P. Christchurch, New Zealand A thought came: "Gosh, I couldn't stand alive against the seasons the way this tree does."