by clicking the arrows at the side of the page, or by using the toolbar.
by clicking anywhere on the page.
by dragging the page around when zoomed in.
by clicking anywhere on the page when zoomed in.
web sites or send emails by clicking on hyperlinks.
Email this page to a friend
Search this issue
Index - jump to page or section
Archive - view past issues
Grapevine : February 2011
to each other, but I thought for sure I had lost that opportunity for life. I made my way home, continued to drink, fell into the wine cabinet and passed out. So on the first day of being 35, I had thrown up, called in late and thrown out a beautiful wine cabinet and an expensive decorative rug. I got myself together and was ready to try to go in to work. After 1 P.M. I would feel human again, and I could try to forget the night before, I thought. Walking into the bathroom, I made eye contact with myself in the mirror. I was like a deer caught in the headlights. I was hit with continuous waves of emotion. I truly looked at myself for the first time and was dis- gusted at what I saw. I couldn't keep doing this anymore---I was so tired of living this way. I saw a person who was exhausted. I was drinking to forget the bad, but creating more of the bad in the process. I once heard someone describe it as having your life unravel faster then you can lower your standards. That was exactly my daily life. For the first time, right there in the sparkly clean bathroom, I made the firm decision to change my life. I didn't know how it was going to hap- pen, but I knew that I had to change. I wanted to stop the madness and if I didn't do it soon then the grace of God that was watching over me was going to run out and I would kill myself somehow. It is one of those miracles that the damage I did to myself and other people didn't result in something much worse or turn deadly. I was an active alcoholic from 15 years of age to 35; that's 20 years of trying to fill a void with alcohol. I truly do qualify to sit in my AA seat. I've heard it said there is an AA person placed in your life who is there when you are ready. Well, that per- son for me was my boss. I went into work that afternoon already knowing I would have to go to his office to ex- plain why I was late again. I took that opportunity to spill my guts and ask him for help. His answer was that the only way someone like me was go- ing to have a chance to get sober and change my life was to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. When my boss said those words it was like something clicked in my brain and I knew that he was right. I saw why I was never fired and why he was so patient with me. My 35th birthday was my last drunk. I accepted that my life was un- manageable. I absolutely believed that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity, and I was com- pletely ready to hand my will and life over to the care of my God. I started my new life by doing the work---I quit drinking, taking drugs and smoking cigarettes all at the same time. I have been sober for six years now. I have a wonderful sponsor, solid home group and strong foundation. I take my program extremely seriously and when I go out speaking I empha- size the wonders of the program if the 38 February 2011