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Grapevine : February 2011
in a terrible automo- bile accident on Val- entine's Day, 1978. He had subsequently been hospitalized for multiple serious injuries and had continued recovering for four months at home. We were dis- cussing the plans for him to begin college, which prompted him to make the state- ment above and to add, "I don't want to go to college." I was so moved by his words that I said, "Go for it, Mike; college can wait." Later that morning I was contemplat- ing my image in the mirror---something I could rarely stand--- and when I looked into my eyes they seemed strangely vacant. I said to my- self, ere's no one home. You look like a zombie. At that mo- ment I realized I was dying. I too, wanted to "live a little." I also knew that in order to "live a little," I had to give up alcohol, and I didn't see how I could possibly do that. However, the realization prompted me to take my first step toward recovery, which was to seek help at an alcohol clinic at our local university hospital, which led to my be- ing urged to try AA. at first visit started me on the journey of my life. In June of that year (1978), my son had recovered enough to walk up and receive his high school diploma at graduation, and Iwasabletobe there---one month sober. For the past 31 years, Valentine's Day has had a spe- cial meaning for me and my son, and has created an enduring bond---his recovery inspired mine. Carolyn S. Gardnerville, Nev. ate the ease and contentment that comes from not fighting, forcing and demanding, but from accepting and flowing. Several years after my "What do you want, God?" experience, I made direct amends to a former coworker who by all appearances lives and works the life I had at one time en- visioned for myself. Most remarkable was a quote, which came to my at- tention while we were setting up the details of our face-to-face meeting. In her email, after her signature line, was the following quote by Joseph Campbell: "We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Sounds an awful lot like, "What do you want, God?" Alison R.I. Valentine's Day has created a bond---my son's recovery inspired mine. I recognize that my discontent was all-consuming because I simply did not have what I wanted! Grapevine 47