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Grapevine : March 2011
The results of the amends Steps have been amazing. When she passed away she had over 40 years of sobriety and still went to meetings, and I am quite sure she still sponsored other women. I moved to a very large city when I was five years sober. I have spon- sored many women along this path, and my life has been truly enriched by every woman I have worked with. I know that my first sponsor's words come out of my mouth often and that her love of our program shines in me. Sponsoring another woman is both an honor and a responsibility that I do not take lightly. At the same time, I tell someone I sponsor that we are not married, nor am I her employer. If there comes a time that she feels she needs to move on to someone else, I trust that judgment. If I feel that I am not helping someone, I need to let her go. I have never understood it when someone says she fired her sponsor, or vice versa. Sponsorship is the "we" of the program to me. "We" are walking a path and doing the very best we can today. My sponsor asked me not to put her on a pedestal because she said she had clay feet. I had no clue what that meant at the time, but I do today. There have been times when I felt like the women I was sponsoring were ac- tually sponsoring me. I have been in places where I felt as if I had nothing to give. I have come home from work exhausted only to have several urgent messages from women I sponsored. It is my re- sponsibility to return these calls, but to also have boundaries. I encourage the women I sponsor to have many phone numbers. If I have not expe- rienced something they are walking through and have no wisdom in that area, we look for someone with whom they can share. Trust, unconditional love and compassion are the ingredi- ents present in my relationships. So- briety is the priority in my life. Taking someone through the Steps is my favorite part of the rela- tionship. To actually witness the psy- chic change in another person and to watch the lights come on internally is the most gratifying experience I have ever had. Not because of what I did, but because of the courage and honesty put forth. I allowed God to do the rest. I am able to love uncon- ditionally in AA because I was loved that way. I am able to listen and re- Sponsorship is the "we" of the program to me. "We" are walking a path and doing the very best we can do today. My sponsor asked me not to put her on a pedestal because she had clay feet. 14 March 2011