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Grapevine : March 2011
28 March 2011 marking the next spot of civilization. On the way home, we took another route. We traveled south, to New Mexico, and headed east across Oklahoma on Route 66. Oklahoma was one notch lower than Kansas in monotony, since there were no grain storage silos. e land was absolutely flat, with no trees, no buildings and no towns for miles and miles. Looking at the map, I noticed that there was a state park not far from the road. I convinced my father to stop for lunch. We came to the inter- section of the side road with Route 66 and made a le turn, following a sign to the park. Again, there was nothing in view for maybe 15 miles in any direction, yet the map clearly showed the park only about five miles north. With nothing better to do, and wondering what kind of park we would find, we kept driving. I think we expected a plot of land with a historical marker commemorating some local hero. For miles we drove north, looking. ere was absolutely nothing in view. But we kept going. Suddenly, the road made a right-hand turn and started going down- hill. We immediately saw that we were descend- ing into a small canyon, completely invisible from the plains. Trees suddenly appeared. e gate for the park was open. Picnic ta- bles on green lawns under tall cottonwoods sprouted ICAME into AA at the age of 30, got a sponsor, read the book cover- to-cover, started working the Steps, and went to 90 meet- ings in 90 days. Near the end of my "90-in- 90"Ihitabumpin the road to recovery. I couldn't get past Step ree. Let me be clear. I believe in God and have healthy views on religion and spiri- tuality. I have a God as I understand him. I was even willing to turn my will and my life over to him. What I couldn't get past was the "how." I asked many people their thoughts but none of the answers spoke to me. Some said, "Fake it 'till you make it." Some told me to just do it. Others asked me how my will was working out for me. My sponsor (and the Big Book) said the bad things in life are caused by self-will run-riot and not by God. Some said I only had to be willing, while others told me to view my Higher Power as anything Iwishedittobe.A close friend said if I couldn't get past Step ree honestly, I might as well drink. Not that I needed an excuse, but I decided to do just that. A er an agoniz- ing spring month in which I drank over 30 bottles of gin, destroyed a good relationship, nearly became homeless and landed in a treatment center, I came back into the program---defeated, but still without the AN HONEST THIRD