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Grapevine : April 2011
found so many great meetings. By the end of the first three months, I already felt comfortable. I've been to picnics, participated in events and, when I was in Florida for the state convention, I even got a couple of phone calls asking me to pick some- one up for a meeting in Pennsylvania. I explained that it might be a little bit out of the way, but I would be happy to do so the next week when I was actually in the state. The most amazing part hap- pened in August of 2008, at the Flor- ida State Convention when I saw all my AA friends and family. While I was there, I actually felt like a visitor and when I got on the plane to come back, it felt like I was going home--- and this is after only three months living in PA. What a difference from my move when I had 12 years sober! It was absolutely amazing. All the wonderful people here are the same friends I left in Florida, it's just the names and faces that are different. Change happens in sobriety and, big or small, I try to see where God wants me to fit in each day. Now, after two-and-a-half years in Pennsylvania, I absolutely bask in the beauty of what God shows us in nature. Autumn here is absolutely magnificent and, having left New England some 29 years ago, I can't describe the feelings I get in absorb- EIGHT years ago, I was hovering between life and death. I had entered the rooms of AA in San Francisco 60 days prior. A er only one month, I'd been unable to re- sist my insatiable desire for alcohol and the inevitable death that was fast approaching. I welcomed it. Never again would there be a need to wake up with that horrible emptiness and fear. e urge to drink that night came on me with violent ur- gency, some force beyond definition creating a craving, a need, I had never experienced. I vaguely remem- ber being about to open the door to leave for the pub when I broke down sobbing, got on my knees and begged with arms outstretched to any possible force that might exist to please save me from death. "I want to be there for my children. Please don't let me die! I don't believe in any religious form of God but if anything exists please let me live." Even when facing imminent destruc- tion, my legal train- ing, aided by what was le of my ego, inserted caveats MISTAKES HAVE BEEN MADE 16 April 2011