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Grapevine : April 2011
24 April 2011 before." By week three, he's completed his fears inventory. e inventory process concludes on our fourth and final meeting, when we discuss, very carefully, the sexual inventory. I make it clear that we are not going to write down every sexual encounter. e Big Book encourages us to be sensible when it comes to these matters. We want to write about conduct where we had been selfish, dishonest or inconsiderate. Where had we caused suspicion, jealousy or bitterness? In other words, this was to be a sexual misconduct in- ventory. He spends a week reviewing this important area of his life and we are finished. Before he leaves, I ask him to read the sections of the Big Book that deal with Steps Six and Seven, as on our next Here I am: I have six years of sobriety, I've done all the Steps, I call my sponsor on a regular basis, I go to meet- ings, I have a home group and I reach out to newcomers. My problem is that I have a huge resent- ment against some- one. Well, it isn't entirely accurate to say I have a resent- ment, because the reality is that I have a list of resentments that's about five pages long. I'd like to tell you all the reasons that justify my anger against the guy, but I'll save that for my sponsor. In my defense, I worked for him for four years. e fact that I'm writing this instead of finishing my Fourth Step is not lost on me. ere is an indefinite amount of other very impor- tant things I need to do as well: change my sheets, file my bank statements, develop a roll of film, watch television. I don't remember my first Fourth Step being nearly as tor- turous. I was still in my first ninety days of sobriety, I think. My then sponsor and I were reading the Big Book together and, when we got to page 65, she told THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF STEP 4: Change my sheets ... watch television.