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Grapevine : April 2011
Oldies but goodies Judge: "You're a menace to other drivers, and pe- destrians, too! I'm going to revoke your license." Defendant: "Your Honor, you can't. My liv- ing depends on this!" Judge: "So does theirs!" ________________ "Now that I'm sober, I no longer wake up in the morning, roll over and introduce myself." History lesson Bob: "When I got home drunk last night, my wife went historical." Joe: "Don't you mean 'hysterical?'" Bob: "No, historical. She reminded me of ev- ery other time I had come home drunk." Terry B. Albany, N.Y. At Wit's End "He's trying to stay sober, but he's still a lady's man." Practice, practice, practice An alcoholic entered the hospital where an AA meeting was held. e se- curity guard asked where he was going. "I'm going to the AA meeting." e guard asked, "Do you know how to get there?" e alcoholic an- swered, "By excessive drinking!" D.T. Montreal, PQ Heard at meetings "I attempted suicide three times and darn near killed myself!" Kurt N. North Huntingdon, Pa. 58 April 2011