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Grapevine : May 2011
THE MISFIT T wo weeks before Christmas, I was called into my bosses’ office and given the standard, “You’re not a great fit and we have to let you go.” wonder- ful! Could this year have got- ten any better? I just could not believe this was happening. I had been with the com- pany for four months and “not a good fit” was simply a shabby reason to be let go, especially two weeks before Christmas. This whole horrible epi- sode happened, I believe, because I was not liked by one of the bosses and for speaking up about our hours be- ing cut. They had sliced about $600 per month from our paychecks and I was the only one who spoke up about it. Did they just expect us to be si- lent and acquiesce? of course they did. There were other reasons, I’m sure, that this happened, but noth- ing I could come up with seemed to assuage my broken, hurt feelings, my panic and fear or that general sickly sensation about how I could possibly celebrate the upcoming Christmas season knowing I had no job to go back to. According to a review I had expe- rienced less than one month before, I was doing an excellent job. This, it seemed, was the story of my life: I was not a good fit. Never in my life have I ever really felt like the right fit. I have never had that experience of things falling into place like they are sup- posed to, not anywhere, not ever, not even close. I’ve always stood on the fringes, on the outside, looking in. To this day, I remain single while every- one around me has gotten married and had children. Things have never gone according to plan. My life has never fit into one of those neat pack- ages wrapped up for Christmas with a lovely bow on top. In the fourth grade, I ran from the classroom and hid in the wash- room. Math was not the right fit (not in the least). This resulted in being tutored by my harsher-than-harsh policeman father, which was about as pleasant as a root canal. In junior high, I was a prime target for bullies. Some even tried to fight me in a yard across from the school grounds, to the general delight When booze stopped working, she felt more alienated than ever RecoveRy at woRk 22 May 2011 GRAPE_22-27.indd 22 4/4/11 4:27 PM