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Grapevine : June 2011
B efore and during my drink- ing days, people were al- ways talking to me about responsibility. I “had a responsibility” to be an excellent student, obedient son and religious child. I was also somehow responsible that children on the other side of the world didn’t go to bed hun- gry. Later, I was responsible to satisfy my employers’ demands, including late hours, much travel, and frequent separation from my family. For most of my life, I thought I was responsible to satisfy other’s expectations. Responsibility equaled an obliga- tion I could never satisfy. The burden EMOTIONAL SOBRIETY The burdens of obligation transform to gifts of sobriety was crushing. Well, drinking fixed that. Pleasantly drunk, I could forget my burdens for a while. You’d drink too if you were as responsible as I was. Thankfully, my Higher Power let the heavy load of my drinking become heavier than anything else in my life. I could finally hear his invitation to the rooms of AA. Gratefully, I was able to respond. Unfortunately, I brought my idea of responsibility as undying obliga- tion into the rooms. I was frightened by the words on the poster that I am responsible to ensure that the hand of AA is available to anyone who reaches out. I thought of myself responsible Responsibility man aagrapevine.org 41 GRAPE_41-43.indd 41 4/29/11 1:08 PM