by clicking the arrows at the side of the page, or by using the toolbar.
by clicking anywhere on the page.
by dragging the page around when zoomed in.
by clicking anywhere on the page when zoomed in.
web sites or send emails by clicking on hyperlinks.
Email this page to a friend
Search this issue
Index - jump to page or section
Archive - view past issues
Grapevine : June 2011
H owdoI choose to handle the uncertainty of life? After 20 years of hard- earned sobriety, getting slam dunked was not what I had anticipated. The next four years of my life were quite a challenge. It started with a failed relationship. Quiet whispers of, “Get out now,” led to the bright red warning flags. But, it was going to be my way “monitored by God.” The outcome was unfortunate dishonesty, a no go for this cowgirl. The mental anguish and wasted time from life was not worth the self-willed expe- rience. I somehow got a life threatening illness, a carotid dis- section, which fasci- nated all physicians, since most have never seen one. Six months with a hole in the carotid before it was fixed. It was not my time to go, obviously. My mom was di- agnosed with stage four lung cancer and she lived four diffi- cult years, surround- edbyalotoflove.As primary caretaker, coupled with my illness, many lost days of work led to tremendous debt. Still, I was grateful to be alive and felt blessed for the pre- cious time with my mom. God always provides our needs according to His riches. He has more than anyone I know. A lesson in faith. Nine people, some family, some friends, passed away during that span of time. It felt endless. Better or bitter? desirable for me to be surrounded by people every minute of the day. There would be something pathetically wrong with me if I couldn’t be com- fortable and wonderfully happy being on my own. Periods of solitude are es- sential in recovery for spiritual prog- ress. But then there are those times when it would be beneficial to come out from behind email and text mes- saging and sit, face to face with you, not as sponsor or sponsee, but simply as a friend or an acquaintance, and al- low myself to be vulnerable. I am a vegetarian who, until a couple of years ago, ate the occa- sional hot dog. At home I eat simply: steamed vegetables, brown rice and tofu are basic to my diet. That doesn’t mean I will necessarily be spared a horrible death or live longer than someone on a strict cheeseburger and french fries diet. It means simply that I am responsible, to the extent that I can be, through diet and exercise, for my health. And what does this have to do with the Fellowship of AA? Only this. Although I find most coffee shop food inedible, you will find me, most Friday evenings, at a diner on the east side of Manhattan, where it is 56 June 2011 GRAPE_52-57.indd 56 4/29/11 5:24 PM