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Grapevine : June 2011
An Irish truth An Irishman, sitting in a pub with his wife, says, “I love you.” She asks, “Is that you or the beer talk- ing?” He replies, “It’s me, talking to the beer.” Anonymous Time’s up! The police had been told to clean up the neigh- borhood, so it was easy when the drunk stag- gered toward the cop and said: “Excuse me offisher, what time is it?” The officer replied, “It’s one o’clock,” and banged him on the head with his ba- ton. “Jeez,” said the man. “I’m glad I didn’t ask you an hour ago!” Bob M. Green Valley, Ariz. Fancy dinners “When I first came to AA, I didn’t really think I had a problem drinking. I just wanted to know what wine went best with a Big Mac.” Bob M. Green Valley, Ariz. Rest in peace A sober alkie died and went to heaven. Peter met him at the gate and invited him on a tour. They arrived at an enormous pool with many people swimming. “Who are they?” he asked. Peter answered, “Oh, those are the humans who never got to learn how to swim, and now they can swim whenever they want.” Then the two walked over to some large tennis courts. “Who are they?” asked the alkie. “People who always wanted to learn tennis,” said Peter. Next they walked inside a large building where folks were smiling and rocking in chairs. “And who are these?” he asked. Peter responded, “Oh, these are just the sober alcoholics. They’ve already done everything!” Helen W. At Wit’s End I had a layover in Omaha ... which led to a HAnGOVer in Des Moines.” cArtoonbyJonnyH. aagrapevine.org 59 GRAPE_59.indd 59 4/29/11 1:10 PM