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Grapevine : August 2011
ize I had a wife at home with two very young children who might also need their father's love, attention and help. I accepted every AA com- mitment I was asked to, most times without even checking with her. My ego was out of control and I had grown distant. The young, picture perfect AA couple was falling apart. It was about to get worse, much worse than either of us could have ever imagined. I had been asked to speak at a convention one Memorial Day weekend. My wife and some of our friends decided to go to the lake for the weekend, while I was gone. Some things happened on that trip. Our relationship was tested to it's core. In the weeks to follow, the lo- cal AA rumor mill was going full speed and the gossip involved my wife and one of the men I spon- sored. At first, I was in shock, then denial and, finally, I convinced my- self this was just rumors. We began to see a marriage counselor and, in one of those sessions, my wife confirmed the rumor. She had, in fact, had an af- fair with this man I sponsored. As I stood up to leave, the counselor asked if she could have just five minutes. I stopped, took the deep- est breathe I had ever taken in 33 years on this earth and, as I ex- haled, God came out. I listened for a moment and we decided to work together and try to get through this. It has been almost two years since that day in the marriage counselor's office. Things have not been perfect since then, but God has always held us in the palm of his hand, when we allow him to. We have remained close to God as we understand him and to the Fellowship of AA. I have taken a long, hard look at my part in what has happened, and realize I am not perfect; I had a big part to play. The Big Book talks about how important and difficult dem- onstrating these principles in our respective homes, jobs and person- al affairs can be. I spent a number of years hiding behind the "Mr. AA" mask, neglecting my home and it resulted in an affair. Life happens. I still believe that, with AA's tools, we have the power to face any situ- ation and, if we stay on the firing line of Alcoholics Anonymous, the best years of our existence surely lie ahead. Jay K. S.C. I turned to see the police taking her up the hill in handcuffs and said to myself: I'm going to marry that girl. aagrapevine.org 23