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Grapevine : October 2011
GO MOW THE LAWN MY story starts with my favorite line heard throughout childhood: "But she has so much potential." It was a con- stant theme, and I heard it everywhere: school, home, friends, clergy. I came from a good family and was given every op- portunity. But I was always attracted to dark corners and sharp edges, rough people and breaking the rules. I was a holy terror to my family. I dropped out of college at 18 to get married to a certifiably insane per- son who whisked me off to Africa to start a rogue nation of libertarians. It was right around that time that I began drinking in earnest. I had failed my family and broken their hearts. I had no education or career. I was married to a crazy man, and I couldn't see any reason not to drink myself silly every single day. I drank for the next 20 years, divorcing and marrying several times. Each rela- tionship was the same old wine in a brand new bottle. When I started working I did not find relief from myself, but instead created all kinds of new opportuni- ties for resentments and justifiable bad behavior. When I was 35 and as lonely and sick as a person can be, ImetamanwhowassoberinAA, and he told me my drinking looked a lot like his. He told me if I wanted to find a new way of living and become a useful, productive person, I could gotoAA.SoItriedit,andIlovedit. I went every day, I got a sponsor, and I worked the Steps. At four months sober, I met a newcomer who instantly became my higher power. We married three months later. A year after that, he was back to drinking, and my life was a disaster. I knew then that AA didn't work. God had not answered my prayers, so I did a geographic and Once she grabbed the tools, she became the person she was meant to be 12 October 2011