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Grapevine : October 2011
each release, the intense paranoia would set in and I would get angry at God and get drunk again. Life meant nothing but hurt and pain to me. In 2010, I went to detox again, desperate with the idea that I was go- ing to get sober or die trying. While there, I got on my knees and asked God for mercy and direction. I prayed and told God I would walk through whatever door he opened. You would havehadtoputaguntomyheadto get me to drink. I got a sponsor and went to a Christian-based homeless shelter. I started to see some value to my life and my story. I realize today that nothing is worth taking a drink over. I will walk away from my job, my kids, my wom- an or anything else to stay sober. I have worked a Fourth and Fifth Step with the help of an AA friend. Today sobriety is not perfect, and I feel a lot of regret. Regret that I didn't work the Steps from the start in 1977. How much different life would be today. I hope the reader will see that sobriety is a fragile, pre- MANY YEARS ago, I lived in Buenos Aires, Argentina, where I was a very active drinker. On my daily way to a social club where I met my drinking buddies, I used to ride to the Constitution subway station. Our club was very well known to the neighbors and especially to the local police precinct, because of our drinking, shouting, and brawls. I le Buenos Aires a long time ago. During a recent business trip to that city, I happened to be close to the same social club, with its terrific memories, and I decided to visit this place and see if it was still as appealing as it used to be. I found the club depressing. Most of my drinking partners were dead, a lot of them be- cause of alcoholism, and the remaining members, mainly those who were still drinking, had an un- healthy appearance. ey couldn't believe that I had quit almost four years earlier, thanks to AA, and they weren't in a mood to grasp the reasons I gave them, nor why AA had been my salvation. Any- how, all of them admitted that I was looking good. I was feeling good and much younger than any of them, even though most of them were actually younger than I am. I walked back to the Constitution station in order to ride to downtown Buenos Aires, full of nostalgia and compassion for my former drinking companions, dead or alive. When I reached the subway station, I couldn't believe my eyes. ere was a big sign saying: "Alcoholism is a disease SIGN OF HOPE REPRINTED FROM GRAPEVINE MAGAZINE, MAY 1985 26 October 2011