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Grapevine : October 2011
to drink and drive." Drive? I thought she said "die." I know she said "die." I looked at my half-finished bottle of beer and the thought hit me like a ton of bricks: I can't stop drinking! If I don't stop, I'm going to die drunk! I quietly walked over to the sink and for the first time in my 38 years of life, I poured out my beer. I stood there watching it flow down the drain and I felt an intense sense of relief. I seriously felt for the first time that maybe I really could stop. Maybe with the help of a Higher Power, I could change this fate of a drunken death. I went to the next AA meeting on Monday night and admitted to the group that I truly had become power- less over alcohol and that my life had honestly become unmanageable. I openly and honestly shared my story for the first time, and this soldier fell apart. The tears fell from my face as I received my second 24-hour chip. Finally, I have seriously started to work the program of AA; I've be- gun my journey of sobriety! By put- ting the principles of AA into action, first of which is honesty, I no longer lie to my wife that I'm working late. Instead, she knows I am going to AA meetings. In fact, she has attended some open meetings with me as well. I know that I am always just one drink away from my next drunk, and that I need to only focus on not drinking one day at a time. Because I have worked the program to the best of my abilities with my sponsor, I have been able to stay sober for a year now. I do this by making a daily commitment not to drink today, and I work the program for me. Recently during a discussion of Step One in one of our Twelve and Twelve meetings, I read: "It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Provi- dence can remove it from us." I have read the passage several times, but I felt I had to look up the word "prov- idence" in the dictionary. Accord- ing to Webster, providence is divine guidance or care; God-conceived power sustaining and guiding hu- man destiny. After reading this defi- nition, another ton of bricks fell on me as I realized that I think I expe- rienced an act of Providence while I had my last drink in my hand. My daughter could have said, "drive," but I heard "die," and in that mo- ment I came to believe that I was indeed an alcoholic and that AA does have the solution, and God has the power. David A. Kaiserslautern, Germany Suddenly, my 7-year- old daughter walked up and said, "Daddy, I don't want you to drink and die." 48 October 2011