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Grapevine : October 2011
I was already emotionally un- stable before I started my ca- reer as an alcoholic. Both of my parents were born in Mexico. My parents split when I was about 13. I was happy as a child, but I just went wild. My dad had left the state with his new girlfriend. Now it was just my mom, my sister, and me. I was a freshman when I started drinking, and that same year I start- ed cutting myself. The following years were noth- ing but parties, cruising in stranger's cars, fights with the family and a lot of self-destructive behavior. At 16, I became bulimic. I made myself throw up because I felt ugly. Within a year, I was hospitalized at a mental hospital for the third time because of suicide attempts. I have been in and out of AA since I was 16. I worked with a drug counselor, a therapist, and a psychiatrist, and they diagnosed me as a "bipolar, manic--depressive." I was prescribed a variety of meds to help keep me stabilized. The only pills I felt OK with were the mood stabilizers because they helped with my intense emotions and anxiety. After a relapse when I was 17, I drank with all of my medications. I Teen nightmare Confessions of a young suicidal alcoholic NEWCOMERS was heavily drunk when I decided to gulp them. This happened a night before my mom's birthday. I thought my life was over. I was just so tired of waking up and seeing my world dark and clouded. I couldn't bear to look in the mirror. I was numb. I felt as if my life was an endless movie of self-destruction, rejection and abuse---something unreal. It became so unbearable that I finally just gave up. I stayed sober for 13 months and 54