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Grapevine : November 2011
two days later I went back to her in absolute desperation and one of the things she said to me that night was, "Aren't you grateful at all that you are sober today?" I wasn't. In that short time I had forgotten what it had been like to be sick and desperate. But since that night I have realized what a great miracle it is for any of us to wake up in the morning and not be sick and desperate. CONFIDENT AND GRATEFUL I am still out of work but I have confi- dence that I will get a good job soon. I am a very grateful alcoholic. I re- alize I have a long way to go since I am still not very good at facing the realities of life which sometimes can be frightening, but even in this short while I know I have come a long way from where I was in January. If there is any advice I can give, it would be the advice I took. Be stupid about the program. Try to listen and practice the things that are being said and ad- vised. And just have blind faith that it will work for you. T.F. Brooklyn, N.Y. that I was humiliated, that I stumbled around in cheap bars, that a bar- tender once knocked me down for trying to steal a bottle. I am grateful that one of my husbands once beat me up. I am grateful that I was twice in the divorce courts before joining AA. I love everybody whom I ever associated with, all my life long. I bless my friends and my so-called enemies, and I pray each day that they will be hap- py, useful, loving, and free, as I am slowly learning to be. I am thankful that I contemplated suicide, not once, but a good many times. How else would I know what it is like to lose your life in every way ex- cept physically? How else can I taste gratitude for the return from death? Had I been a sober, mature citizen at the outset, I might have been a good woman, that is to say, a happy wife, a loving mother, a kind neighbor, perhaps even a success in my chosen career. And I could never have under- stood what it's like to be in the gutter. And I could never have helped anyone else out of the gutter with that greatest of all the gi s of AA---Twel h Step work. I would not belong to this Fellowship that, as far as I know, is the great- est group therapy going anywhere in this world. I would not have in my possession now a pearl of wisdom that is polished by my own experience. It is invaluable. I can give it to others. F.M. New Canaan, Conn. I am grateful that I was humiliated ... that a bartender once knocked me down for trying to steal a bottle. aagrapevine.org 17