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Grapevine : December 2011
Gift of desperation I’VE heard people refer to desperation as a gift. Desperation means to despair. Despair means to lose hope. Years ago despair was a way of life for me, but I found hope the day I came to AA. I’ve never lost it since. So I came to recovery not sure of what I would find. I was blessed, because I found hope the first day. I found people just like me, saying things aloud that I was ashamed of thinking. They told stories of their own despair and pain. I was shocked, but I was also home. It was the big- gest gift I’ve ever been given. Today despera- tion is not in my reality. I have hope. Desperation brought me through the doors of AA 26 years ago. And hope kept me coming back. What a ride, what a gift! Sally H. Tucson, Ariz. They loved me back IGREW up in straight AA, and I was embraced by the old-timers. I was draped in shame for things I had done, places I had been—and they loved me back. I was 4 years sober when I Hope kept me coming back ... what a gift! began to get honest at a level I had been unaware of. I had experienced familiar feelings for a woman, and it was very difficult for me to accept. I am sober 24 years now, and I’m with my first and only woman partner 20 years. Self–acceptance took time. My home group embraced me for who I was—a woman needing and wanting to live sober. Thank you for giving all members a voice. Jill E. North Bellmore, N.Y. There are no mistakes IAM 34 years sober. On Sept. 2, my companion of 17 years (Touché, a Bichon) was laid to rest. The next morning, filled with grief, I did my medi- tation and prayers as usual and then opened my September Grape- vine to find the front page title: “Dealing With Loss.” Today I believe God has a plan. Thank you again. There are no mistakes. Michelle M. Traverse City, Mich. 6 December 2011 GRAPE_4-7.indd 6 11/1/11 10:15 AM