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Grapevine : December 2011
job. My son hated me. Looking back, this is what I relate to the “incomprehensible de- moralization” that is referred to in the Big Book. When I got out of jail, I went into a 3-month treatment program. I was willing to do anything it took because I knew that I would either die or go back to prison if I didn’t con- form. That is what it took for me to get to the program of AA. Thank God I had a probation officer to babysit me and make me accountable. I got a sponsor who “suggested” that I call her every day at 7:00 a.m. because I needed structure. IwassofulloffearthatIdidnot speak in a meeting for a very long time. I told myself that I would never, ever chair a meeting. At nine months sober I was elected treasurer in my home group, which made me ac- countable and kept me coming back. That was a turning point for me. I started doing what was suggested to me by people who were sober longer than me, including things that I didn’t (and still don’t) always feel like do- ing. I got down on my knees to pray. I read pages and prayers from the Big Book that were recommended by my sponsor. I did the things that taught me how to live. There is a solution if I am willing to do the work that is necessary. I became very involved in service work, serving on and chairing dis- trict committees. I go back to jail to bring a meeting to the women there and share my experience, strength and hope with them so they know that they do not have to take another drink or drug if they don’t want to. Service work has played a huge part in my recovery, especially early in my sobriety, because it kept me involved and gave me a feeling of being a part of something useful. My life isn’t perfect, but it doesn’t have to be. My son loves me again, and I have gone back to school. I don’t have the same sponsor I did when I came into the program. Ironically, she is the counselor who first told me I was an alcoholic. Go figure! I just do the best that I can for today. The ob- session to drink has been removed. I have a solution to live life on life’s terms. I still have much to learn, but if I keep coming back and asking for God’s help, he will take care of the rest. I am extremely grateful for the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Karen S. Appleton, Wis. Two days later, a S.W.A.T. team broke into my house, and I went to jail. I lost my job. My son hated me. For more stories like this, visit aagrapevine.org /topic/personal-stories 38 December 2011 GRAPE_36-38.indd 38 10/28/11 2:23 PM