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Grapevine : January 2012
I was raised in a very Christian home where my dad was a pas- tor for most of my childhood. Doing the right thing was taught to me from an early age. I was raised in a picturesque setting. There was a lot of love and nur- turing in my home. My first drunk came when I was 15. I blacked out and woke the next morning to a horrible hangover, but vowed that I was going to drink again as soon as I could. and I did, until I crawled into aa some 14 years later. There’s some insanity for you! My drinking resulted in two DUIs; several public intoxication charges; and being homeless, bro- ken, and left with a hole in my soul too big to be filled by anything other than the Higher Power I found in aa.IhadachildwhenIwas21,and by the time I was 26, my parents had taken her for me so I could “straight- en things out.” That is when my drinking real- ly took on a whole new form. I was not bound by any responsibility, and the guilt I carried from not being a good mom engulfed me. Be- fore they took guard- ianship of her, I once dropped her off at day- care so I could go party for a bit. I remember how much she didn’t want me to take her there. when they were closing the daycare they had to call me several times to tell me to come get my child or they were going to have to call Child Protective services to come and get her. still my drinking did not stop, it only got worse. Nothing was ever enough to make me stop, although I wanted to a lot of the time. I love page 24 in the Big Book where it says, “we could not bring into our minds with sufficient force the suf- fering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. we are with- out defense against that first drink.” My alcoholic mind would not allow me to recall the horrors that drink- ing was causing me. I tried to take my own life several times, to no avail. I am convinced today that God is not done with me yet. I continued to spiral downward for two more years after that inci- This mom “wasn’t old enough” for AA until she heard the stories of two women her age I’m Too Young! YOUNG AND SOBER illUStRAtiONBYSiSSElK. 12 January 2012 GRAPE_12-15.indd 12 11/22/11 2:39 PM