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Grapevine : January 2012
important he might need to know later on. The book caught my attention—a fa- miliar blue cover, the remnants of yellow highlighter mark- ing its pages, and his name etched in pen on the side, where I have seen so many names before. I knew the book the young man read. I understood his posture and the intensity of his gaze as he read the lines, the hope and the promise the book offered to him. My book looks the same, pages marked with highlighter, notes in the margins indicating some earlier connection I made with the read- ing. I recognized him as a fellow traveler, someone who is on the same journey as me, and the keys to the kingdom found in the words and ideas that lay upon his lap, the book of Alcohol- ics Anonymous. I thought about saying something to the young man, letting him know he was among a fellow traveler, but I did not want to disturb him and interrupt his connection to the solution he was seeking. I thought to myself how subtle this encounter was and how God can show up in the most unlikely places. I go about my days with the knowledge that I am an alcoholic and the only control I have over my disease is to not feed it with idle thoughts that it could be different. I am not unique in the ability to change that fact. This program has taught me to see the solution instead of the problem, and if I am present to God’s subtle voice, I will hear his message. Ididnotgointomy day fighting the feel- ings of impatience, nor struggling with a sense of being lonely and disconnected to the realities of life or my job. I’ve found that acceptance of the things I have no control over will clear a space for God’s voice to be heard only if I am willing to listen. I prayed my si- lent prayer to God, thanking him for the gifts the program of Alcoholics Anony- mous has to offer; the fellowship that is so readily available when I feel that I am alone on my journey. I have learned that when I am at peace, my willingness to accept the situa- tion can work its miracles. I find God dem- onstrates his love for me when I least expect it, but my part is to be patient and quiet, and to remove my expectations, so I can hear his voice saying, “You are not alone.” Desiree B. St. Paul, Minn. munity. i am no longer hopeless and helpless. Today i want to be sober more than i want to be drunk. The desire to drink has left me, and that is a wonderful freedom. i can make my own choices today, instead of the booze making my choices for me. Al- cohol took me places that i did not want to go. i am grateful to be rid of that malady. A few years ago, i lost my sweet- heart of 10 years. He passed away with 25 years of sobriety. losing him was one of the hardest things i’ve had to endure in my sobriety. Many aagrapevine.org 45 GRAPE_40-46.indd 45 11/22/11 3:59 PM