by clicking the arrows at the side of the page, or by using the toolbar.
by clicking anywhere on the page.
by dragging the page around when zoomed in.
by clicking anywhere on the page when zoomed in.
web sites or send emails by clicking on hyperlinks.
Email this page to a friend
Search this issue
Index - jump to page or section
Archive - view past issues
Grapevine : January 2012
truth ... in the following years, this changed. Alco- holics who still had their health, their families, their jobs, and even two cars in the garage, began to rec- ognize their alcoholism ... It was obviously necessary to raise the bottom the rest of us had hit to the point where it would hit them.” Those two pages woke me up. I did not need to loose everything. I could stop now with the help of AA. In that moment, I felt I had my first spiritual awak- ening. There was no more struggle: “Am I or am I not?” I am an alcoholic! I felt free. Finally the acceptance came—and total surrender. Then, thinking that my life would be just a boring existence, I even accepted that. I was tired fighting the booze and living a lie. Once I started going to more meetings, got a spon- sor and began reading the Big Book, my life began to change. I could not pass a day without going to a meet- ing. I felt safe there, and I was hungry for the peace I tasted at each meeting. I have continued on that road of “happy destiny” for the last 45 years, and I intend to go on until my creator calls me. But in the meantime, I carry the message, I do service, and I sponsor others. I continue attending meetings because I might miss something pertinent to my sobriety. I love the program with all my heart. It allowed me to raise my chil- dren in a sober home, save my marriage, save my life and be of service to others. I have to share this gift of sobriety that I have received from God and AA. The more Idothat,themoreIam blessed. Denise K. Walnut Creek, Calif. able to turn around and come out of the river. I didn’t talk to my sponsor about what happened that day for a very long time. For 45 years, I never mentioned it in my AA talks. It had a lot to do with me getting sober, though, because I never drank much after that. Now I face a different kind of fear. In 2009, I was diagnosed with lung cancer and given three to six months to live. I couldn’t even do that right, as I’m writing this 18 months later. The hospice even took me off their list. I guess I wasn’t dying fast enough. The lung specialist says these things are hard to predict, persuading the hospice to put me back on. I have great fear. I don’t want to die. I don’t think anybody does. Even the plants and the bacteria fight to stay alive. One thing I can say about my situation is that I am now more spiritually connected to God than ever before. I have gained a deep apprecia- tion of the need for spirituality, rather than religion, and for the people in AA who have helped me so much. Through it all, they have stayed close and shown me spirituality at its best. Mary L. Auburndale, Fla. aagrapevine.org 59 GRAPE_56-59.indd 59 11/22/11 3:09 PM