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Grapevine : July 2011
the program was not a religious program or a cult that would suck me in. However, a er my first meeting, ending with a Christian Prayer, I became more con- vinced than ever of my perceptions. A er a suicide attempt and detox, all I wanted to do was die, so I started to go to meetings. A er craving alcohol 24 hours a day for six weeks I relapsed for two weeks, was rescued by a couple of AAs who let me stay at their house for a few days until I could face the fear of going home. When I arrived home, and the bottle of gin was removed from my house, my friends le and I had a sudden spiritual experi- ence. My craving, which had lasted for six weeks, disappeared instantly, my so-called clinical de- pression le and I have never been alone since. at was 10+ years ago. I knew at that moment what God, as I under- stand God, is. I was going to do anything in my power to keep that "buzz" going. As it turned out, all I needed to increase the "buzz" was the Steps. Today I do Steps, three, six,seven, and 11 each day. I knew my entire brain had to be repro- grammed and I have a higher power that is doing exactly that. My hours of meditation are for me truly, heaven on earth. I had no religion when I came to AA and have no religion now. Some of my friends keep searching for truth by going from religion to religion. I do not search, Some meetings I go to end with the Serenity Prayer, but most end with the Lord's Prayer. I am home. My only task now is to live in the moment, where the com- mittee has no access. My life, as a gay man, has not changed, but my thinking has. Each year the fear is reduced and I am a free. Some meetings I go to end with the Serenity Prayer, but most end with the Lord's Prayer. When they do, I say my own prayer. I believe that ending AA meetings with a Chris- tian prayer keeps many, many newcomers from waiting for the miracle. 8 July 2011